awesomex24x

fuck fuck fuck fuck i hate livejournal!!!!!!!!!

please listen to this he is amazing and might chnage your life

nowhere to turn nothing to lose u say i am fucked up u dnt have a clue what the fuck i have been thru so here i stand telling u this is all i have.

hey everyone just letting u know life fucking sucks it fells like everything is slipping away.. everyone i know has changed and i fell like i cant move forward our backwards. i just wish everything was back to the old ways! well i guess life goes on anyways i wish the best for u and i hope everything works for u..

just to let u know i wish u would not write about me in your journal cause it bums me out super bad!


anyways iowa is amazing i wish jesse was here to hang with me!

me and taylor and mike are having a good time it was a good get away from new york i kind of dont want it to end to be honest cause it is awesome here the people are amazing!



well offf to bed to try and get some sleep but it probably wont happen cause of my stupied brain thinking about shit! well good night to anyone who gives a shit

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=164877541





yo add my band on the myspace plz!!!!


we will have our song up soon we just out of the studio.... so add my band plz!!!

i never knew that distance would be so fucking hard. it is like the more u love someone the less space u want to give them i dnt know how everyone else fells when they are with someone but when i am all i want is them right beside me fuck everything else. she is my number 1. but right know i cant have that and it is the hardest fucking thing in the world, hanging up the phone every night trying to let her go on aim anything is just fucking super hard to do. i dont know maybe i am a pussy but i fell that way about it and i dnt care what anyone has to say.

i just want u to know hannah that i love u a lot and i miss u more then u will ever know!
i dnt ever want to lose you ever.

hope u r having fun tonight with you friends! miss you

yo i never post in here for a reason i think it is fucking gay but know is the time i guess i should.
my grandma just left my house coughing u blood and i dnt know what is going on my dad was freaking out at me and crying and shit cause that is his mom. we had to carry her to the car it is bad is she goes my dad has nothing and it just kind of hit me. i fell so fucking bad for him i am dreading that day so much when my father passes i guess what i am saying is dnt fucking take it for granted spend as much time as u can with you family and dnt be a fucking dick head for no reason...

hannah i love u and u r the only great part of my life besides my family miss u alot gett better cause i dnt like u being sick miss u..

never been so confused in my life..


It's time to rethink every fact that is imaginable.
Survival instinct dwells in a past that is inhabitable.
I happen to pull fast ones over the slow parole boards who like to speak,
To de-fanged wolves who cry sheep.

Time seeps into our skin. Age indicates how long we've been lost in space.
I keep putting expressionless looks on my face.
I'm an awful waste of human skin who waits for autumn to begin.
My fall from grace will do me in.
Too late...I'm out of seasoning.

No spring chicken summer romance novel writer could win a prize,
That's Nobel...go to hell in a writing vehicle that isn't winterized.
I've changed my mind more often than my undergarments
about abortion and other nonsense
'Cuz I'm an orphan who comes from Providence

"I AM A SIGN FROM GOD" (For the parentally misguided) and I know,
My State is not an Ocean, not an Island, not a Rhode.
If I don't know where I come from then how do I know where to go?
It's not where you're from. Not where you're at. It's where you're going...and I am going home...

"To where?" The land of the lost souls.
Feeling a loneliness that really only exists in abandoned foster homes.
How many images of missing kids can be fit onto a milk carton. Framed.
They're all starting to look the same.

They're starting to say his name and claim privileges as if they found HIM.
The strangest little kids surrounding,
The circle of false friendship rings of fire arms are connected at the elbow,
Because their tired moms unexpectedly let go.

The velcro-like component that keeps their unit cohesive,
Is the music...so we give,
Reasons to get sober. Life experiences to hum to.
These kids play Red Rover? I look for weaknesses to run through

With reckless abandon. They're standing and refuse to go down.
Pinballs in their machine bounce between abusive homes now.
If it's fight or flight they'll just choose to throw down.
Ain't nothing like beating a dead horse and riding it through a ghost town.

I move with no sound. Used to think I was invisible,
Until they stopped me mid-stride and said "I think I've seen a picture of you."
Picture that. I said, "Nah...I've just got one of those faces,
Placed next to an expiration date that changes."

I kind of look familiar. My name is on the tip of your tongue.
The lost look on my face makes you play dumb.
Say something colloquial. I need to get my bearings and a feel for where I'm at,
But you ain't hearing that.

They shout "FREEZE!" I'm a tourist trapped by townies/
Who put bounties out on me in all surrounding counties/
Before I bounce I hear them shout "Can someone help us out, please?/
We're all alone in the foster home killing ourselves with the house keys!"/

Not every broken home can come equipped with a fix-it-man,
And it's a smelly mess once the shit hits the fan.
Kids just stand in their Circle. Jerks with their dicks in the sand,
Saying, "Fuck the world!" 'Cuz they ain't got no girl, but who do they think I am?

Think again. I'm not that quick to plan ahead of time.
I'm two steps behind their schedule. They pretend to have read my mind.
I think they just misread the lines on the palm of my hand 'cause,
They're random scars caused from slap boxing with landlords.

I ran with the dogs until I realized they were all mutts,
Turn bitch once the dog catchers caught up.
Forced into trucks. Boarded up. Put to sleep in the pound.
Being an orphan sucks...but I'm sick of sneaking around.

I see my frown posted up on street lights and telephone poles.
From what they show it seems like I never get old.
From what they show it seems like I'll never go home.
And that doesn't seem right...because they won't let me grow.

This is where some go...
To avoid the sun rays and the noise of subways.
Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved.
I feel rewarded offering a finder's fee that I know no one will pay.

This is where some go...
To avoid the sun rays and the noise of subways.
Emerging introverted, unemployed and unshaved.
I've got multiple personalities and my inner children are runaways.

And I know
My State is not an Ocean. Not an Island. Not a Rhode.
If I don't know where I come from how will I know where to go?
It's not where you're from. Not where you're at. It's where you're going. And I am going home.

so toaday was the hardest day of my life. i have been thru alot of shit in my day but today was the fucking hardest thing ever. my dad is in the hospital on a fucking breathing machine and it fucking kills me. i couldnt even go in and see him cause i cant see him like that.

but on a lighter note i think he is going to be alright we find out tomorrow. so wish me luck.

love u all.

Alright here we go again two times in a week. i am fucking so bummed on life because people are way lame and only look out for number one. you all know what if u live for someone else you need to get a life and life for your fucking self and dnt fucking hide in someones shadow because u dnt fell comfortable thinking for yourself. i mean come on we all fucking have our own brains and we can all think for our self so fucking do it.

fuck everyone who has anything false about them......
all you fucking kids dnt do shit for yourself anymore and u just look at a kid that dances hard and fucking turn into him grow up. One day u will realize you will fucking see how blind you where to everything in li



too anyone who has every turned there back on someone because they didnt fit your mold shame on you. that kid was probably a golden child all you fucking kids that are too cool for school think out side the fucking box and maybe let another kid into your circle.......
o yeah thanks alot myc for everything.
peace out!!!!!!!

yo here it comes i never fucking post in this shit so know i am.
i am so fucking over everything. all you fake ass fucking kids running your mouths about this and that
u have a problem with someone take it up with them dnt fucking post it on here our on fucking myspace
grow the fuck up and be a man. same with girls if u want a fucking girl grow up and be a man and fucking talk to her in person no on fucking myspace i mean come the fuck on....

your are all a bunch of freedom hating fruits and u need to be put in check!!!!
so anyone who has a problem step to the fucking plate u know where i am at and how to get a hold of me.

there u wanted it u got it everyone



o yeah anyone who hates NIKE'S i got something for u....

GO VEGAN!!!!
but dnt post about it on here make a change. i am not making fun of being vegan just stating that posted a on livejournal aint going to do shit just going to make people see u dnt really care about what u belive so if u dnt like something try and change it. dnt just sit behind a comp and bitch........


thanks alot to all of you my friends i am just way pissed off about people not backing what they believe and what the say they hold so true to them. also dnt get pissed or offended bye this i didn't direct it towards anyone just venting.

Awaken from the bliss of sleep
The daybreak haunts you in such a subtle light
I hear them, they tell me these roads we have travelled fork up beyond the bend
Beneath the flutter of desperate wings
they sing a song of reclamation
Where tomorrows hanging horizon
interupts the hum of electrical towers
Here, there are the shallow graves, the shallower romances
and the shallowest of words still to be spoken
and there you are with open ears
Locust reign on your parade


hell yeah assholes

Forsaken
The cedar doesn't do much for these memories
I am as cold as the monuments you left for me
And another one passes in the evening
A knee deep grave and the two that raised
and a tin box for the two that I loved
And I carry on
Please lay out my best suit for me
and tell me every word you want to hear
Every word you have said to yourself to be perfect in the end
and I carry on
A tin box for the two that loved
Carry on



my lil one is coming tonight and i cant wait so excited

I had the best weekend ever cause the best girl ever came and hungout with me u now who u r....come back and see me really soon plz i miss u and cat wait for u to come back

ve never seen to many stars
(And I'm never gonna see them again)
I've never known such perfection
(And I'm never gonna know it again)
I've never felt so at home
(And I'm never gonna feel it again)
I want to open these veins
And never breathe again
Because the beauty is dead...
Since February 79'
I've O.D.'ed on "lonesome" 22 times
(But who's counting?)
You'd think by now - you would've died
I'm sorry girls - I tried
(Scream these words to me)
If imperfections are illegal
Then you should call the cops
And they should lock me up
You're such a slave to the crying game
(Scream these words to me)
We'll die alone
Picture me in brighter days
With smiles on my innocent face
(Did you forget me?)
I only wanted to be loved
I only wanted to be in love
(Scream these words to me)
If imperfections are illegal
Then you should call the cops
And they should lock me up
You're such a slave to the crying game
(Scream these words to me)
We'll die alone
Could you love a face
Full of tears soaked in song?
I can't decide...
I don't know if its worse to live or die
I am stuck on "never enough"
And the corner of "never again"
Here is a hint - don't call someone
Who just sits by the phone
Leave them alone
I loved the first few days
But its not fun playing a game
You always lose
I couldn't talk to save my life
I couldn't talk to save my life



the best mother fucking band ever

so what is up dudes i have not written in this thing for a long ass time umm i am still alive.
The man reason i am writting in this gay ass thing is that i leave for possi numbers tonight and i
fucking so stooked on life.......




later gays

so i made everyone hate me today that is on syd aim list i said i was her and talked shit to like a 100 kids
best time i have ever had on aim hahahahhahahahahahaha man i am lame well talk to u guys later


having a blast in vegas

so bummed on life want to get out want to get away from it all. just for a min i dnt want to have to deal with anything.


is that to much to ask for?

so i want to go hangout out of town somewhere and i cant find anyone that wants to do it fucking figure it out dudes someone let go do something